Written by: Director, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

Dr. Tik Chi-yuen

 The constant emergence of "Hong Kong parents" and "helicopter parents" reflects that modern parents are very concerned about their children's development, and some are even overprotective. The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education (HKIFE) has conducted a survey on "Modern Parenting Trends", and one of the findings is that more than 70% of the parents surveyed would significantly reduce the time they spend with their spouses and friends (50% or more) because of their children. Sixty-five percent of the parents surveyed would give up their own hobbies for their children, 25% would even give up their well-paid jobs to take care of their children, and nearly 20% would refuse to work overtime or go on business trips, showing that modern parents are willing to sacrifice themselves for their children.

It is natural for parents to care about and look after their children, but at the same time, they should learn to balance their own lives and avoid devoting all their time to their children and neglecting their own lives and those of the couple. I have come across many cases in which parents have given up their own interests and reduced their contact and relationship with friends because they spent all their time on their children. In addition to the increasingly high demands on their children, they also lose their own circle of life over time, causing emotional and mental distress.

Everyone needs to have a diverse life. Life is multi-faceted, including personal growth, dreaming, developing interests, building friendships, love life and parent-child relationships. If a person focuses on only one part of life, he or she may be able to do something better, but life is out of balance and there will be a great loss in other areas.

For example, if we focus only on our children's studies, they may do well in their homework, but if we neglect our parent-child relationship, we may lose more than we gain or not do well enough, and this will definitely affect our emotions. When emotionally disturbed, it will also affect parent-child communication and mutual relationships, and mood swings can easily affect the relationship between husband and wife.

It is a natural task for parents to be concerned about the growth of their children, but there must be a balance between the lives of parents and the growth of their children. Nowadays, most parents do not pay too little attention to their children, but too much attention to their children, resulting in the "monsterization of parents". Therefore, parents should know how to relax and let go, so that everyone can have more room to seek diversity in life and make life more colorful.